5 Signs You and Your Partner Are Not Ready to Have a Moment

Healthy Living - Married couples have different opinions about the meaning of marriage. Some couples feel they are ready to add the presence of a baby in the middle of their small family as soon as possible. However, not infrequently there are couples who want to postpone having children, even claiming they are not ready. So, what is usually a consideration or a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children?

What are the signs that you and your partner are not ready to have children?

Choosing to have children is indeed a big decision taken when you have a family, regardless of how old you and your partner's marriage is. Of course, not all married couples have enough readiness to deal with these changes.

Generally, the reasons for a couple not ready to have children are as follows:

1. Not ready financially

It's no secret that having children means you and your partner must be able to support children financially in caring for and raising them. Starting from the cost of education, daily necessities, until the allowance you have to prepare from the beginning.

In addition, when you decide to have children, you have to prepare for the possibility of reducing expenses for things that you and your partner like, such as hobbies, holidays abroad, or buying certain items.

You and your partner may not be ready to have children if this is still one of the main concerns.

2. Other goals in life have not been achieved

There are times when you and your partner still have goals or visions of life that have not yet been achieved, whether they are the goals of both or each other. For example, you still want to focus on a career, or your partner's ambitions to travel the world have not been achieved.

Sometimes life goals like those mentioned previously will take up a lot of time and attention, so having a child is believed by some to be distraction.

In addition, if you and your partner have the idea that having children is at the expense of your goals and vision of life, that means you and your partner are not ready to have children.

3. The fear of failing to become a parent

Many married couples are worried about not being able to become good parents for their children later. Some of the reasons include the risky childbirth process, thinking about how to educate the most appropriate child, to deal with problems when the child has become a teenager.

This fear usually arises from hearing stories from friends, family, or even originating from personal experiences in childhood. If you still feel this confusion, it might be a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children.

4. Still feel comfortable living alone with a partner

The early days of marriage are generally the most beautiful times for almost every married couple. You can finally spend more time alone with your partner.

Maybe one of you or your partner is afraid of the emergence of new things that can change the closeness in marriage. One of them is the presence of a child.

You need to know that changes will definitely occur in marriage after you give birth, and it is impossible to avoid. However, if you worry that negative changes will be more common than positive, maybe this is not the right time for you to have a baby.

5. You and your partner hope that having children can improve the relationship

A number of married couples with unharmonious relationships believe that by having children, it can restore the warmth and closeness with each partner. In fact, this is not always true.

According to Dr. Liz Higgins, a family psychologist quoted by Elite Daily, has hopes that the presence of children can improve marital harmony is actually a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children.

Dr. Higgins added, having children creates more challenges and risks of conflict than couples who do not have children.

Therefore, compared to thinking that children can be a messy household solution, it is better to focus first on improving your relationship with your partner before deciding to have a baby.