Healthy Living - Married couples have different opinions about the meaning of marriage. Some couples feel they are ready to add the presence of a baby to their small family as soon as possible. However, not infrequently, some couples want to postpone having children, even claiming they are not ready. So, what are the usual considerations or signs that you and your partner are not ready to have children?
What Are the Signs That You and Your Partner Are Not Ready to Have Children?
Choosing to have children is indeed a big decision that couples must make, regardless of how long they've been married. Not all couples have the readiness to deal with the changes that come with parenthood.
Generally, the reasons for a couple not being ready to have children include the following:
1. Not Ready Financially
It's no secret that having children means you and your partner must be financially prepared to support them. This includes costs for education, daily necessities, and other expenses that you must plan for from the beginning.
Additionally, when you decide to have children, you should be prepared for the possibility of reducing spending on things you and your partner enjoy, such as hobbies, vacations, or purchasing certain items.
If this is still a primary concern, it may indicate that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
2. Other Life Goals Have Not Been Achieved
Sometimes, you and your partner may still have personal or shared life goals that haven't been achieved yet. For example, one of you might still want to focus on a career, or your partner might have ambitions to travel the world.
Pursuing such life goals can consume a lot of time and attention, and for some, having a child might be seen as a distraction from those goals.
If you and your partner feel that having children would hinder your life goals, it might be a sign that you are not ready for parenthood.
3. Fear of Failing as Parents
Many couples worry about their ability to be good parents. Concerns may include the challenges of childbirth, raising a child, or dealing with adolescent issues.
This fear may stem from hearing stories from friends or family, or from personal childhood experiences. If you still feel uncertain, it might indicate that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
4. Still Enjoy Living Alone with Your Partner
The early days of marriage are often considered the most beautiful by many couples, as they finally get to spend more time together.
Some may fear that having a child will change the dynamics of their relationship. You need to understand that changes will inevitably occur in your marriage after having a child.
If you worry that negative changes will outweigh the positive ones, it may not be the right time for you to have a baby.
5. Hoping That Having Children Will Improve the Relationship
Some couples with unharmonious relationships believe that having children will restore warmth and closeness. However, this is not always the case.
According to Dr. Liz Higgins, a family psychologist quoted by Elite Daily, hoping that the presence of children can improve marital harmony is actually a sign that you and your partner are not ready to have children.
Dr. Higgins adds that having children creates more challenges and risks of conflict than couples who do not have children.
Instead of thinking that children can solve household issues, it's better to focus on improving your relationship with your partner before deciding to have a baby.